Healing Beyond Adoption Wounds

My healing journey has allowed me to regulate my system and become a better person. And the impacts reach far beyond adoption. Two areas of my life have been particularly impacted by my internal work.

First and most importantly it has allowed me to be a better parent. Luckily, I started on this journey when my children were 0 and 3 years old, so they have grown up with a “relatively healed” mother. By doing my own work, I was able to stop the cycle of generational trauma. My children have been allowed to grow into their authentic selves and live up to their true and full potential.

I started the second phase of my journey in 2020. In 2021 we would face a difficult year of mental health challenges with my 16-year-old. As I walked that path with him, I mentioned how I don’t think I would have handled the situation properly if I hadn’t done my own work the year prior. He said that he knew I wouldn’t and that was why he hadn’t mentioned what was going on before. While I still missed some important issues earlier in his life, I was ready to help him when it mattered most. I hate to think of the consequences if I hadn’t been prepared to guide him on his journey.

The second area of my life that was profoundly impacted is that of boundaries with other people. I realized I was allowed to have boundaries with adoptive family, and if I did not have to tolerate toxic behavior from them, I did not have to tolerate it from anyone. Covid lockdown played a role as well allowing me to see how peaceful life was without the toxic interactions. Combine that epiphany with healing and I never wanted to go back to the way things were. It was another step in protecting my emotional well-being.

Healing has turned wounds into scars. It has also brought calm, steadiness and power. I encourage you on your own healing journey so that you too may find the profound ways it will impact your life beyond adoption.

Much Adoptee Love to You,

Lora